


Fear is a B****

by chowderr



Series: Comfort at Camp Cretaceous [1]
Category: Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Pincus is scared, Ben Pincus needs a hug, Camp Cretaceous was a horrible idea why would they send children to stay there, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I like making my favorite characters suffer, Kenji wants his emotional support hypochondriac to be okay, M/M, Spoilers, everyone is an exaggeration, his friends are worried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29427207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chowderr/pseuds/chowderr
Summary: All of the kids at Camp Cretaceous are very clearly traumatized, but Ben Pincus was left to fend for himself for who knows how long, and it didn't do him a shred of good. His friends are concerned, but all he's doing is distancing himself. The only one able to get remotely close is Kenji.
Relationships: Kenji Kon/Ben Pincus, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Comfort at Camp Cretaceous [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161959
Comments: 5
Kudos: 72





	Fear is a B****

**Author's Note:**

> CW:  
> some vague violence?? idk im very desensitized so im not always sure what needs a content warning and what doesn't :[

Everyone knows that all living beings are, primarily, driven by fear. You can make all the excuses you want, all the alternatives, but the truth is right there. Fear controls the mind at every waking moment, whether it was minor or not, it was there. Fear, in fact, was the only thing keeping Ben Pincus alive in the vast jungle of Isla Nublar. Somehow, everything looked both incredibly familiar and completely new. Not a good sort of new, either. A bad, absolutely terrifying new. Ben wanted nothing more than to go home at once. Return as though none of this, not one second, had happened. But he couldn't. Of course he couldn't. Not after he'd seen horrors no child, or person for that matter, should ever see. He'd seen folks eaten alive by dinosaurs before his very eyes. The screams, the blood, all of it, it haunted the very few dreams he had these days.

Ben wasn't sure how long he'd been out on his own. A week or so, perhaps. There was no way of knowing for sure after he'd lost count, not when every day blended together exactly the same. As much as it saddened him, Ben couldn't help but think about his friends. Where they were, what they were doing. They were home, he assumed. Safe and warm, well fed. Not fighting for their life because some stupid dinosaur awaited them around every single goddamn corner, that's for sure. Maybe it was for the best that Ben had fallen off the monorail. Sure, it wasn't the best for _him_ , but it was for them. He'd just have slowed them down like he always did. With him gone though, the others probably easily made it to the docks on time. Ben was happy for them. Terrified and secretly praying someone came back to look for him, but happy nonetheless. 

Despite how much he longed for it, no one was coming to get Ben. He knew that, deep down. You'd think knowing that would discourage a person like Ben, drag him down into a deep depression and make him give up, but it didn't. It only fueled his hatred for this godforsaken island and these stupid fucking dinosaurs. Bumpy had been practically the only thing that hadn't tried to kill him, and he'd sent her away in a foolish rage. So yeah, Ben was alone. Completely and utterly alone on a cold, cruel island as he fought for his life every single day. He didn't know how many dinosaurs he'd fought by now. He knew how many he'd killed, though. Three. He'd killed three. That didn't sound like many, sure, but for a fourteen year old boy who had not all that long ago frozen in fear at every little sound? It was practically unbelievable. Besides, they were fucking dinosaurs. Even killing just one was insane. Ben didn't know nearly as much as Darius did about dinosaurs, but he knew one had been a velociraptor and two coelophysis (he had to run faster than he ever had before after that, because all their friends went absolutely apeshit.) Truly, Ben had no idea whatsoever how he'd managed to kill anything, but he did, and it haunted him. He never thought himself capable of taking a life, let alone three, but humans do unbelievable things under pressure. 

He didn’t remember what calm felt like. He didn’t remember what good food tasted like. He didn’t remember what it was like to get a good night’s rest, he hadn’t slept in days, nor more than two hours in longer. He could barely recall what a hug felt like, he just knew he wanted one. Ben wanted a hug so badly. He wanted someone, anyone, to hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay. But everything was not going to be okay, how could it? He was never getting off Isla Nublar, no matter how hard he fought. Either he’d die from weather, starvation, some injury, or a dinosaur (shockingly he wasn’t worried about dehydration,) and while a part of him had come to begrudging terms with the fact that he was to die young, a far larger part yelled “fuck that” and decided to fight everything he laid his eyes on. That’s how you survived, wasn’t it? Assert your dominance while you could and run when you realized you’d bit off more than you could chew. No reason that was a bad idea, it certainly wouldn’t absolutely ruin Ben’s sense of both self and sanity. 

The poor boy was so sure he was alone, until Bumpy found him again- she was all grown up- and later he’d run into Brooklynn and Kenji (or rather saved them) and realized that he wasn’t. Somehow, it was not as comforting as he thought it would be. In fact, it was exactly the opposite. Was it his fault? Had they been thrown off after his accident with the monorail and missed the boat? Had they been struggling as much as he was? That had been a few days ago now, and they were all still stuck on the island. The others had brought Ben back to their makeshift camp and it took an incredible amount of convincing to drag him away from Bumpy and up into safety while she waited on the ground. Sammy fussed over him for far longer than he was comfortable with, checking nearly every inch of his visible skin she could for injuries and shushing him when he tried to protest as though he were just like her cattle back home. Ben was fine. Well, maybe not fine. His whole body ached and there were cuts, small and large, littering his formerly very pale but now uncomfortably tanned skin. His hair and clothes were caked with dirt and what could only be blood. The others all looked bad too, but it was obvious that Ben was the worst, even against Yasmina’s ruined ankle. He’d looked over himself, though, and there was nothing extremely worrying. No infections, no broken bones, he didn’t need Sammy’s help.

“Ben, stop squirmin’!” Sammy complained as Ben attempted to pull away one too many times.

“I told you I’m fine, I already checked,” He replied, annoyance in his voice.

“And I’m double checkin’, alright?”

Ben felt a hand on his shoulder that made him jump in surprise before being met with Kenji’s unreadable expression. The other boy rubbed Ben’s shoulder gently before letting go and sitting next to him.

“Just let her, dude. It’ll make all of us a little less worried if we know for sure you’re not hurt.” Ben stopped complaining after that.

They still had yet to figure out sleeping arrangements, seeing as they had built the place assuming that they wouldn’t be getting their hypochondriac friend back, but Ben was more than eager to just sleep down on the ground with Bumpy. They all looked at each other with the same confused expression when he offered, it was extremely unlike the Ben they’d gotten to know to voluntarily sleep somewhere much more dangerous than other availabilities. He’d been gone for so long though and hadn’t told them a single thing about it, so who was to say what had changed Ben during that time period and just how much. So why had Ben decided to sleep down there? Honestly, he wasn’t even sure. Perhaps he felt safer with Bumpy or felt guilty that he’d told her off. Maybe he didn’t want to be a burden anymore and didn’t want any of the others to give up their bed for him. He knew he wouldn’t be sleeping anyways, so it wasn’t worth their discomfort. 

The first thing the group noticed when they were reunited with Ben was that he had become distant. Far more distant than they’d ever expected Ben Pincus to be. He didn’t yell about how dangerous things were anymore, he just silently trailed behind the rest of them when they explored. There was almost never a time that Ben didn’t have the cattle prod in hand, ready for attack, and truth be told it was starting to scare everyone, especially Yasmina, who had on more than one occasion accidentally snuck up on Ben and nearly got her shit rocked each and every time. He didn’t get any less distant as the days passed, but thankfully he didn’t get more distant either, he just stayed the same. Ben was, in all ways, a creature of habit, and even with everything he’d gone through, he still was. His habits, or routine, as he insisted, had changed though. Instead of waking up after everyone else, he was the very first person awake, more likely than not because he no longer slept. He didn’t worry so much about unhealthy food, instead he chose one food and only ate that (because he knew it was safe) until someone else scolded him saying he couldn’t only eat frozen pizza. Though they all agreed frozen pizza was better than the berries that he ate the first few days they had him back.

By far, the most noticeable new habit was the way Ben kept his guard up constantly, even around his friends. The others couldn’t imagine what he’d experienced that changed him _this_ much. Or rather, they didn’t want to imagine. He’d cleaned most of the dirt and blood out of his hair and his worse cuts had been bandaged with supplies the group had found in main street, but that did very little to mask the obvious trauma that the boy now had. The rest of the group spoke in hushed voices in the night as Ben waited for sunrise on the ground with his dinosaur buddy.

“I’m really worried about him, you guys-” Darius was the one to initiate the conversation. 

“No shit, we all are, man.” Kenji snapped back, getting oddly defensive. 

“Calm down, Kenji, jeez. He’s just trying to talk.” Now Brooklynn piped up to defend Darius.

“Let’s just agree we’re all worried. Darius, you wanna finish?” Sammy, always the mediator. She had gotten up from her bed and moved to Yasmia’s, sitting awfully close to the other girl.

“No, no. I just wanted to know what you guys thought.” Darius concluded, to which Yaz gave a small nod of recognition. Kenji still seemed stressed, but at least he didn’t shout at anyone. Despite Darius’ prompt, no one said anything.

“I guess I’ll start,” Sammy said. “Y’all have noticed he looks awfully tired too, right?”

“I don’t think he’s been sleeping,” Brooklynn replied with a sigh and a glance over the side of their little base.

“Should we be more quiet then?” Asked Yasmia, peeping down at their friend as well.

“I think it’s fine, we’re already whispering-” For a second time, Darius was cut off by Kenji.

“If we’re all so worried about him then how come none of us are trying to help him? We’re literally just talking about the kid behind his back,”

“Oh my god, Kenji. He’s a year younger than you, why do you call everyone kid?” Brooklynn rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t deny he had a point.

“That’s not what you should be focusing on, here.” Kenji’s expression quickly changed from annoyance to anger and still, none of them knew why he was so upset.

“We don’t know _how_ to help him. Even if we did, I don’t think he’d want it,” Darius spoke next, doing his best to keep tempers low.

“Honestly, I’m with Kenji on this one. We haven’t even tried to ask him about what happened yet,” said Sammy, a frown forming on her usually happy face.

“It’s a bad thing if he runs away, right?” As she continued to stare at the ground, Yasmina’s comment earned a collective ‘what?’ from the group. “He’s leaving,” she finalized as all of them rushed over to, sure enough, see the form of a boy wandering into the dense greenery. The commotion that the group made to climb down to the ground and run after their friend was a sight to behold.

Ben wasn’t entirely sure why he decided that leaving was the best option, but he had. He didn’t intend to leave for good, just a few hours or so, meaning it was really nothing to worry about too much. He just needed some time away from the others. Some time to just let himself be vulnerable again, because he couldn’t possibly in front of them. The “brilliant” idea had come about as Ben sat leaning against Bumpy when a memory flashed before his eyes, one he’d never be able to erase. So of course, not wanting to take the risk of his friends noticing the tears that threatened to form in the corners of his eyes, he ran off. Thankfully, Bumpy was fast asleep by the time this happened and Ben didn’t have to try and convince her to stay. Quietly as he could, the light brunette wormed his way through the foliage and stopped running about twenty minutes later, give or take. With a huff, he plopped down on the ground and leaned back against a tree, staring up at the stars for a few moments before he closed his eyes.

The second the moonlight no longer met Ben’s eyes, the memory appeared vividly again. He was on his own again, beat up and bloody, still petrified of what lurked beyond. Little did he know, a velociraptor stalked him, and he didn’t realize until she was already pouncing at him. By some miracle, Ben managed to dodge and throw a rock at her, trying desperately to scare the creature off to no avail. He wasn’t sure why there weren’t more of them right behind, but like hell he was going to complain, more was definitely not merrier in this case. The raptor pounced again and again, occasionally missing, but more often than not scratching up Ben severely with her sharp claws. The boy did everything he could to get away, but he knew that running wouldn’t work this time. He knew he had to stay and fight, so that’s exactly what he did. He already had the makeshift spear he’d put together a few days ago, so at least he wasn’t weaponless and empty handed. With a yell (either to hype himself up or scare the dinosaur, who knows,) Ben jabbed the spear at the wretched thing, driving the head directly into her left eye. As the raptor screamed, so did Ben, and much to his dismay the eyeball came out with the spearhead. As much as he wanted to curl up and start crying, the velociraptor was unbelievably pissed now, so there was no getting away. 

The fight went on for some time, back and forth and back and forth. Blood poured out of the dinosaur’s eye socket, the copper smell making Ben sick to his stomach. His mind raced with doubts and regrets of all the things he never did. Eventually, the raptor had Ben pinned to the ground, her mouth dripping with drool as it stared down at him, a look of pure and unbridled fury in its singular eye. Acting as quickly and without thinking, Ben shoved his spear upwards as hard as he could, and to his luck and surprise, made direct contact with the raptor’s underbelly. As she reeled away in distress the boy scrambled up, panting heavily, his heart beating faster than it ever had before. Once again, he mindlessly stabbed at the raptor. Instead of hitting her stomach, his spear pierced through her chest, right where he expected her heart to be. The spearhead made contact with a sickening squelsh and the creature let out an ear splitting screech of agony. As Ben pulled the spear out and held it close with shaking hands, blood spilled out by the bucket until the raptor’s body went limp. Even then though, it continued to flow. Even after she died. She… She died… Ben killed a dinosaur. Ben killed a fucking dinosaur. He doubled over and began throwing up his guts almost immediately after.

A firm grip and worried voice shook Ben out of his thoughts and much unlike his behavior as of recently, he couldn’t bring himself to hold up the cattle prod in defense. He didn’t need to anyways, considering the second he opened his eyes, he saw the worried face of Kenji staring down at him.

“Ben? Dude, are you okay?” Before Ben could reply, Kenji answered his own question. “What the hell am I saying, of course you’re not, you’re literally crying,” Wait, he was crying? Ben lifted a hand to his face and wiped his cheek which, sure enough, was wet. Apparently he had started crying some time ago and just not realized it. 

“I’m fine.” Ben mumbled as he began to wipe the tears away from his eyes.

“Can you stop that?”

“Stop what?” 

“Acting like you don’t need us.” Kenji’s comment earned nothing but silence and he let out a sigh before kneeling next to the smaller boy. “We wanna help you, man. We care about you.” A beat, “I care about you. A lot,” Ben could do nothing but avoid making eye contact. “Bro, I’m really going out of my comfort zone for you here. You gotta give me something.”

“I can’t do this-” Ben said, feeling his breathing speed up.

“Do what?”

“This! Fucking this, idiot! We’re stranded on an island full of deadly monsters and you _don’t_ know?” he started yelling, almost furious that Kenji didn’t immediately know what he meant. “I don’t like who I am, Kenji… I didn’t like it before, but I don’t even know who _I_ am anymore-” Ben held his head in his hands, tears beginning to form again. The taller of the two, for once in his life, didn’t say anything. He just stared at Ben sadly and let him vent. “You guys at least all had each other, I just had Bumpy, and even then she was with me for less than half of the time,”

“What? What happened to her?” Okay, Kenji couldn’t help but question that part. 

“I got mad at her and scared her off. She must know I didn’t mean it if she came back, but I still feel awful about it.” Kenji just nodded and reached over to grab the other boy’s hand.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened when Bumpy wasn’t there?” Ben shook his head no in response. He couldn’t talk about it. Kenji would think he was a monster. Just as bad as the dinosaurs. He’d be completely and utterly heartbroken if Kenji ever saw him in that light. It was that thought that made the dam break and let all the tears he was keeping at bay come flooding out, pouring down his cheek relentlessly and leaving clean trails in the dirt that covered his face. “Woah, hey there,” Kenji said in surprise as he quickly scooted closer to (hopefully) comfort his friend. He’d never really had any experience comforting people, and that was fairly obvious.

“‘M sorry, I-” Ben tried to apologize and stop the tears, but they just kept coming and he couldn’t speak without his voice breaking and quivering every syllable. 

“You don’t have to apologize, really,” After some deliberation, Kenji adjusted both of their positions, so instead of Ben leaning against the tree and Kenji kneeling in front of him, Kenji was leaning against the tree and Ben was curled up in his lap, still crying hysterically. Loud sobs ricocheted through his small frame and broke Kenji’s heart into pieces. 

The pair stayed like that for a while, almost seven minutes, when the rest of the group found them. Kenji, still holding a crying Ben close, shushed them before they could say anything and startle the poor boy. The group stared at their friend with a shared expression that could only be described as completely devastated. After some nonverbal deliberation, Darius, Brooklynn, Sammy, and Yasmina decided it was best to wait until Kenji brought Ben back to the camp. Ben’s head was cradled against Kenji’s chest as his hands ran gently through Ben’s matted hair as another attempt at calming him. Shockingly, it seemed to work and both were able to stand and begin heading back to camp, though not without Ben still holding tightly onto the other’s hand and leaning against him as they walked. After a few feet, though, Kenji decided it was more efficient to just hoist Ben onto his shoulders and do the work. Sure enough, they returned not long afterwards and were greeted immediately by their very (rightfully so) concerned friends. Kenji, however, walked right on past them and carried Ben up to their little makeshift treehouse thing. He set him down on his bed and sat next to him, patting the pillow eagerly. 

“Take a nap.” Kenji said, somehow both gentle and stern.

“I’m not tired,” Ben started to protest.

“First of all, yes you are. You haven’t slept in days and as well as you think you’re hiding it we can _all_ see the eyebags. Second, it wasn’t an offer. I’m not leaving you alone until you get some sleep.” Ben couldn’t think of an argument, so as much as he didn’t want to, he laid down and immediately realized just how tired he was. As he began to drift off, he felt Kenji plant a soft kiss to his forehead. “ We’ll talk when you wake up. I just wanna make sure you’re okay” was the last thing Ben heard before he was fast asleep without fear for the first time in months.


End file.
